The Book I Desperately Wanted to Find When I Became a Widowed Parent
When my husband Dennis died, and I didn’t know what I didn’t know about being a widowed parent, one of my first stops in the hunt for information was Amazon.
I mean, who hasn’t headed over there to type in a few words about whatever problem they need to solve or whichever information they need to learn, in hopes that just the right book will appear?
Eight years ago, I couldn’t find that book.
But now there’s a terrific book that covers exactly the sort of stuff I was looking for back then. I was thrilled when someone at Penguin Random House reached out to see if I would like to speak with Drs. Elena Lister and Michael Schwartzman about their book Giving Hope: Conversations with Children About Illness, Death, and Loss.
I’m going to keep this brief and make just one suggestion: If you’re a widowed parent, buy this book. If you know a widowed parent, buy it for them. Seriously.
If you don’t know what to say to your kids about death and grief—and let’s be honest, who does? — then do yourself a favor and read Giving Hope: Conversations with Children About Illness, Death, and Loss.
If you’d like the 'Cliffs Notes' version first, you can listen to our discussion on the podcast.
Here is a summary of some key points my guests shared:
Importance of Open Communication: Drs. Lister and Schwartzman emphasize the importance of having open and honest conversations with children about illness, death, and loss, advocating for age-appropriate transparency.
Understanding Grief in Children: They discuss how children process grief differently at various developmental stages and the importance of recognizing these differences to support them effectively.
Role of Caregivers and Parents: The guests highlight the critical role caregivers play in providing stability and understanding, suggesting practical ways parents can support their children through difficult conversations about death.
Resources and Tools: They provide insights into resources and tools that can aid in these conversations, including books, therapeutic activities, and professional support options.
Encouraging Emotional Expression: The conversation covers methods to encourage children to express their emotions related to grief and loss, including art and storytelling, as a way to help them cope.
Long-term Impact of Grief: There is a discussion about the long-term impact of grief on children and the importance of ongoing support and reassessment of their needs as they grow.
This book is a must-read for widowed parents raising grieving kids. I only wish it had been published prior to January 8, 2016, when it would have been invaluable to me. I hope it will be helpful to you.
Editor’s note: Find “Giving Hope” at Amazon.com, Bookshop.org, or Barnes & Noble. You can listen to the full discussion with Drs. Elena Lister & Michael Schwartzman on the Widowed Parent Podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
