Karen Millsap on Turning Pain into Purpose

“I realized that I wanted to use my pain for purpose. The first thing was, ‘I’m not going to be defeated by this. Caleb’s not going to lose both of his parents.’ But then I think as I started to work through and surrender to the journey and say, ‘Well, okay, but how can I use this?,’ because then it would actually honor my husband’s life and his death wouldn’t be in vain.”

— Karen Millsap

I’m so excited to bring you my discussion with Karen Millsap this week. I mean, you’ve got to love someone with a TEDx talk called “Use your tragedy to change the world,” right?

Karen’s husband Richard was murdered when she was just 29 years old. Her son was 2. After seeing her dreams shattered, and spending the first year in a fog, she realized that she had the power of choice…the power to decide that she was not going to let her life be destroyed by her husband’s death. She also realized that how she handled her husband’s death would have a direct impact on her son’s life and character.

Karen and I talked about so many fascinating topics, including:

  • Getting herself out of the victim mindset and the “pity party”;

  • The four pillars of practical empathy;

  • The HEAL method;

  • Teaching your kids how to use confidence checkpoints

  • Transitioning back to work after loss

  • Using her experience to help others

  • How in the midst of losing everything she found herself; and

  • Her plans to help her son turn his pain into purpose as he gets older

I hope you enjoy my discussion with Karen Millsap.

 
 

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Jenny Lisk

Jenny Lisk is the founder of the Widowed Parent Institute. She is an award-winning author and widowed mom who is dedicated to helping widowed parents increase their family's well-being. Jenny’s books, Future Widow and Widowed Parents Unite, and her show, The Widowed Parent Podcast, guide the journey of solo parenting after loss.

https://jennylisk.com/
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Shelly Bathe Lenn from The Garden on Healthy Communication and Helping Kids Feel Safe After Loss

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Dr. Lisa Damour on Parenting Teenage Girls