Parenting Older Teens and College Students with Lisa Heffernan of Grown and Flown

“Don’t go it alone. You need need experts. You need community, you need friends the same way you did when your kids were in diapers. So keep that community. It’s an enormous help to you and it’s an enormous help to your family.”

— Lisa Heffernan

I had such a great discussion with Lisa Heffernan, co-author of the brand-new book out this week called “Grown and Flown: How to Support Your Teen, Stay Close as a Family, and Raise Independent Adults.”

This is one of those episodes that is not grief-specific. I was so glad to talk to Lisa about her new book because so often I hear from widowed parents that one of their challenges isn’t really related to grief at all – it’s that they find themselves in a new role as the “only parent” for their kids, and they need to handle everything alone. So, I figure the more information and insights we can get, the better, in terms of helping us with this job. Our discussion is also relevant, however, for your friends who are not widowed parents – so please share with them it you find it helpful.

Some topics Lisa and I cover in our discussion include:

• What parents most want to know about raising their kids during the older teen / young adult years;

• How parents can tend to feel isolated when their kids get older and face problems that can be more difficult to discuss with other parents than little-kid problems;

• Signs you might be overparenting your teen or young adult;

• The four main things your child needs to know to manage their health when they’re living away for the first time;

• Four key academic lessons that your teen should learn before college;

• Tips for getting through the 11th grade;

• Tips for parents to stay sane during the college search and application process;

• Tips for college drop off day;

• Ways to support struggling college students without taking over; and

• What surprises Lisa most about the late teen / early adult years.

I hope you enjoy my discussion with Lisa Heffernan of Grown and Flown.

Links & resources for this episode

• Grown and Flown: How to Support Your Teen, Stay Close as a Family, and Raise Independent Adults, by Lisa Heffernan and Mary Dell Harrington

• Grown and Flown website and Facebook group

• My interview with Dr. Lisa Damour

• Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions Into Adulthood, by Dr. Lisa Damour

• Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls, by Dr. Lisa Damour

More links for listeners

• Download: Kids & Grief: What You Need to Know

• Article: I’m a Widowed Mom: Here Are My 3 Tips for COVID-19 Widows

• Book: Widowed Parents Unite: 52 Tips to Get Through the First Year, from One Widowed Parent to Another

Thank you sponsors & partners:

Help Texts - Grief support text messaging service. Tips and support delivered all year long, personalized based on your loss. Listeners get $10 off: https://helptexts.com/jennylisk

BetterHelp - Talk with a licensed, professional therapist online. Get 10% off your first month: betterhelp.com/widowedparent

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