Elke Thompson Reflects on Losing Her Young Husband and Writing Grief Books for Kids

“If your child is old enough to ask a question, they’re old enough to hear an answer.”

— Elke Thompson

I had the loveliest discussion with Elke Thompson for this episode. Elke is a widowed mom in Scotland – originally from Germany – and after her husband died, she couldn’t find any books to answer the many questions her then-three-year-old had about his dad’s death. She decided to write her own … but there were many twists and turns on the path to getting that done. If you've ever wondered whether you should be honest with kids about difficult topics, you'll want to hear what Elke has to say.

Some topics Elke and I discuss include:

• How she explained to her husband’s heart attack to her three-year-old;

• Going to the bookstore looking for a book to explain death to her young son;

• People saying that her son was too young to understand;

• The questions her son asked which led her to understand that he was not too young;

• Deciding to write her own children’s books about grief;

• Falling in love again, and navigating the new relationship with her kids;

• Being diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer a few years after her husband died;

• The importance of being honest with her kids about difficult topics, including her illness; and

• Why she ends both of her books with the message that it’s ok to be sad and it’s ok to be happy too.

I hope you enjoy my discussion with Elke Thompson.

Links & resources for this episode

• elkethompson.com

• Elke’s talk at TEDxMuenster

• Is Daddy Coming Back in a Minute?: Explaining (sudden) death in words very young children can understand, by Elke Barber and Alex Barber

• What Happened to Daddy's Body?: Explaining what happens after death in words very young children can understand, by Elke Barber and Alex Barber

  Episodes mentioned:

• Lindsay Joy Taylor reflects on the trauma of losing her mom as a baby (WPP061)

• Lane Hendricks on widowed parenting of infants and young kids (WPP064)

More links for listeners

• Download: Kids & Grief: What You Need to Know

• Article: I’m a Widowed Mom: Here Are My 3 Tips for COVID-19 Widows

• Book: Widowed Parents Unite: 52 Tips to Get Through the First Year, from One Widowed Parent to Another

Thank you sponsors & partners:

Help Texts - Grief support text messaging service. Tips and support delivered all year long, personalized based on your loss. Listeners get $10 off: https://helptexts.com/jennylisk

BetterHelp - Talk with a licensed, professional therapist online. Get 10% off your first month: betterhelp.com/widowedparent

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