Melissa Pierce on Parenting the Kids You Have and the Importance of Self Care

“You really have to parent the kid that you have. I have two sons, and I parented my youngest differently than I parented my oldest during that time because there were different needs there.”

— Melissa Pierce

I had such a great discussion with Melissa Pierce for this episode. Melissa is a widowed parent, an author, and a self-care advocate. She has two sons, and her older son really struggled as a teen so be sure to listen for that part of our discussion if you’re facing a similar situation.

Some topics Melissa and I discuss include:

• Melissa and her husband, Dave, adopting their two sons from the Oregon foster care system;

• Moving their family from Portland to a small town in Eastern Oregon;

• The traumatic shock of finding her husband dead after he’d gone to bed the night before feeling just a little unwell;

• Making major changes in her life right away, despite all the grief literature suggesting one should not do this;

• How the small town they lived in rallied to support Melissa and her boys after Dave died;

• Finding The Dougy Center after she moved back to Portland;

• How her grief therapy ended up dipping in and out of personal development therapy;

• How her older son began to struggle that he so much that needed more help than could be provided locally;

• Making the decision to send her teenage son to a wilderness therapy program and then to Boys Town;

• Deciding to remarry;

• How self-care changed her life; and

• Melissa’s book recommendations for widows.

I hope you enjoy my discussion with Melissa Pierce.

Listeners: get a 10% discount on Melissa's self-care subscription boxes at filledwithgold.org - use discount code WIDOWEDPARENT.

Links & resources for this episode

• The Dougy Center

• Educational Connections

• Boys Town

• Filled with Gold, by Melissa Pierce

• I’m Grieving as Fast as I Can, by Linda Feinberg

• Widows Wear Stilettos, by Carole Brody Fleet

• Future Widow, by Jenny Lisk

• Widowish, by Melissa Gould

More links for listeners

• Download: Kids & Grief: What You Need to Know

• Article: I’m a Widowed Mom: Here Are My 3 Tips for COVID-19 Widows

• Book: Widowed Parents Unite: 52 Tips to Get Through the First Year, from One Widowed Parent to Another

Thank you sponsors & partners:

Help Texts - Grief support text messaging service. Tips and support delivered all year long, personalized based on your loss. Listeners get $10 off: https://helptexts.com/jennylisk

BetterHelp - Talk with a licensed, professional therapist online. Get 10% off your first month: betterhelp.com/widowedparent

Support the show - Chip in at BuyMeACoffee.com

What is your biggest challenge as a widowed parent right now?

Call our voice mailbox at (669)257-3434 and leave a message. Or, answer this quick one-question survey. We’ll work with experts to answer listener questions in future episodes & articles.

---