Talia Kovacs on Building Resilience in Our Kids
I had such a great discussion with Talia Kovacs for this episode. We talked about an important topic: building resilience in our kids. Listen for Talia explaining what she means when she says resilience is learned, but it can’t be taught. It’s an important nuance that I hadn’t thought about before, and Talia explains to us what this means for us as parents.
Summary of Key Points:
Resilience is Learned, Not Taught: Talia Kovacs emphasizes that resilience is a skill that children learn through experience rather than direct instruction. It's an important distinction that shapes how parents can support their children's development.
Building a Calm, Connected Household: Kovacs, a literacy specialist, focuses on creating environments that foster calmness and connection, laying the groundwork for children to develop resilience.
Framework for Resilience: Kovacs has developed a framework for resilience that involves setting up structural conditions at home that enable children to learn resilience from the inside out.
Parental Role in Developing Resilience: Parents can't teach resilience directly but can create conditions that encourage children to develop resilience themselves. This includes fostering a sense of belonging and value within the family unit and allowing safe independence.
Strengths-Based Approach to Problem-Solving: Kovacs uses principles of positive psychology, encouraging children to identify and leverage their strengths in overcoming challenges, which helps in building resilience.
Importance of Play and Contribution: Allocating time for play and encouraging children to contribute to the family in meaningful ways are parts of creating a resilient environment. Contributions are less about chores and more about feeling valued and part of the family.
Handling Difficulties and Failures: Kovacs notes an increase in children's fear of failure and emphasizes the need for developing resilience as a countermeasure. She advocates for acknowledging difficulties and learning from them.
Positive Psychology Principles: The approach to building children's capacity for resilience involves recognizing and utilizing their inherent strengths, rather than focusing solely on correcting weaknesses.
Family Dynamics and Resilience: Kovacs discusses the significance of family dynamics in resilience, especially for widowed parents. She suggests that resilience within a family can be enhanced by collectively navigating changes and challenges.
Stories of Resilience: Sharing stories of resilience, including how parents and families have overcome past difficulties, can provide powerful lessons and encouragement for children.
Links & resources for this episode
Talia’s website
Free download: 5 Steps To Use Your Child's Strengths to Build Resilience
Episode 23: Tamarack’s Dr. Tina Barrett on Mother’s & Father’s Days and outdoor grief support programs
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