Diane Ingram Fromme’s “Stepparenting the Grieving Child”: An Important Read for Expanding and Blending Families Post-Loss
Earlier this week, we celebrated National Stepfamily Day – a time to recognize the unique challenges and joys that come with blending families. As part of this occasion, I wanted to share some valuable insights on step-parenting grieving children from my discussion with Diane Ingram Fromme on The Widowed Parent Podcast.
In our discussion and in her book, Stepparenting the Grieving Child, Diane offers her wisdom on how stepparents can support children who have lost a parent, navigate the complexities of grief, and build meaningful relationships in the face of loss.
In honor of National Stepfamily Day, let’s explore some of the key takeaways from my interview with Diane and discover how stepparents can approach their role with empathy and wisdom:
Respect the grieving process
Diane encourages stepparents to allow children to grieve at their own pace and not rush the process. Grief doesn’t have a timeline, and children may show different responses over time.
Building trust gradually
“Grieving kids need the space and time to remember their parent, and it’s important for the stepparent to honor that.”
Diane Ingram Fromme
Diane highlights the importance of slowly building trust with stepchildren. It is critical not to try to replace the deceased parent but to create a supportive and understanding role in their lives.
Honoring the memory of the deceased parent
Diane explains that stepparents should help keep the memory of the deceased parent alive. Children should feel free to talk about their parent and cherish memories without feeling guilty or disloyal.
Open communication is key
Diane advocates for open and honest conversations with the children about their emotions, the changes in their lives, and the evolving family dynamic. Allowing children to express their grief can help them cope better.
Flexibility in new family dynamics
She talks about the importance of being flexible and adaptive as stepparents, recognizing that each child will react differently to the new family structure and that building a positive relationship may take time.
Conclusion
If you’re a widow who has remarried, or someone who has married into or is considering marrying into a widowed family, I highly recommend reading Diane’s book, Stepparenting the Grieving Child. I think you’ll find lots of advice and perspective that will help as you embark on this new phase of your family’s life.
Editor’s note: Find Diane’s book, “Stepparenting the Grieving Child,” at Amazon.com, Bookshop.org, or Barnes & Noble. You can listen to the full discussion with Diane Ingram Fromme on the Widowed Parent Podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
