Articles & essays especially for widowed parents. Personal essays, book reviews, author interviews, and the always-popular Ask an Expert column where you can get all your questions about widowed parenting answered.
Jenny Lisk, Editor-in-Chief
Securing Your Family's Future with Social Security Survivor Benefits
Life after a spouse’s death is incredibly challenging, especially when it comes to figuring out your financial stability. When your income takes a hit, whether your spouse was the main breadwinner or you work but your dual income gets cut in half, the financial pressure can be overwhelming.
Let’s talk about Social Security survivor benefits and how they can help keep you and your kids on stable financial ground during this tough time.
Widows Want You to Know: Messages from The Memory Circle
When a longtime attendee in my Living with Loss grief support group asked if I would consider leading a widows-only group, I was intrigued.
She was right. These women have a very particular language and understanding they speak amongst themselves. I appreciate their wisdom and humor, and they help me better understand this deep and particular sorrow from a new perspective.
Recently, I posed a question in our session: What do you wish people knew about your grief?
I’m a Widowed Mom: Here Are My 3 Tips for COVID-19 Widows
If you’ve been widowed by COVID-19, and are now raising your kids and teens as an “only parent,” welcome to the club.
The club nobody wants to join.
This club sucks. If you’re a member, it means your partner died. Your kids now have a dead dad or a dead mom.
3 Tips for the First Father’s Day Without Dad
If you’ve been widowed in the past year, and you have kids, you may be staring down a very unwelcome date on the calendar: The First Father’s Day Without Dad.
I remember our first Father’s Day without my husband, Dennis. June 19, 2016. He had died a few months earlier, after an eight-month-long battle with inoperable brain cancer. Our kids were 9 and 11.
I was plagued with doubts.
What do we do about Father’s Day?
Is there any way to avoid it being a disaster?
Can we just ignore the day altogether?
If You Could Say One Thing to Widowed Parents, What Would it Be? (Part 1)
I hear so often from widowed parents that they feel lost and alone.
They don’t know anyone else who is widowed with kids or teens in their neighborhood or their kids’ school communities.
They’re not sure how to do this new job of widowed parenting.
They’re not sure who can even help.
When I started the Widowed Parent Podcast, my number one goal was to learn what I needed to know about parenting grieving children – and to share what I was learning so my listeners could learn, too.
Longtime listeners will know that I always ask some variation of this question at the end of the show:
“If you could say one thing to widowed parents, what would it be?”
I’ve gone back through the first 100 episodes of the Widowed Parent Podcast and pulled clips from eleven of my guests who answered this question.
‘You Are Not Alone,’ Part 1: Attend Camp Widow
Everyone’s concerned about loneliness these days.
The US Surgeon General is talking about it.
My friend Allison Gilbert is writing a book with Dr. Ruth about it.
It seems that, as a society, we are collectively feeling more alone than ever.
Widowed parents won’t be surprised to hear this. I frequently hear from listeners of the Widowed Parent Podcast that they don’t know anyone else in their neighborhood, school community, or personal circle who is widowed and is now raising their kids or teens alone.
If this sounds like you, you should know: There are a lot of us. It’s why I pulled the voices of 48 widowed moms and dads into my latest book, “Widowed Parents Unite: 52 Tips to Get Through the First Year, from One Widowed Parent to Another.” I wanted you to hear directly from fellow widowed parents, and to know that you aren’t alone.
But: It’s one thing to begin feeling a little less alone, and another thing entirely to move toward actually being a little less alone.
For that, I’ve got some tips – beginning today with this: Attend Camp Widow.
I’m Afraid My Kids Will Never Be Happy
“I’m afraid my kids will never be happy.”
As the parent of a child whose father died when she was five, I’d say this is a common fear among parents raising children who have experienced death losses.
When a child’s parent dies, many things change for a family. This might include things like income, daily routines, and day-to-day support — plus the future you had imagined for your children. Suddenly so many things look and feel different, and it’s easy to hyperfocus on the fear that now that the worst has happened, your kids won’t have the happy and fulfilled childhood you want for them.
This isn’t an irrational fear.
My Kids Were George’s and Charlotte’s Ages When Their Dad Got Cancer. Here’s What I Learned About Parenting.
On an ordinary Friday evening when my son was 10 and my daughter was eight, I returned home to see my husband, Dennis, sitting on the couch with a funny look on his face. It was the kind of look that says, “something’s wrong.”
A few short weeks later, he was diagnosed with brain cancer.
As Catherine, Princess of Wales, disclosed to the world last week that she’s been diagnosed with cancer and is undergoing treatment, she mentioned that she and Prince William have taken time to “explain everything to George, Charlotte, and Louis in a way that’s appropriate for them, and to reassure them that I’m going to be ok.”
As a parent who had to explain to her kids that their dad had cancer, I feel for her. It’s a terrible task, and one that I doubt anyone is equipped for. I certainly wasn’t.
Along the way I’ve learned a great deal about parenting kids during a family health crisis. Should you find yourself in this situation, here are three things you should know.
3 Steps to Tame the To-Dos of Widowhood
Life is full of to-dos, even at the best of times. Dealing with all the additional details when you’re newly widowed can drive a parent to despair, because there are just so many things coming at you at a time when you feel like you have little to no control.
In the aftermath of Tracy’s death, I had to find a way to reduce the sense of being overwhelmed and to make progress on the things I needed to do to take care of my kids, myself, and all the legal, financial, medical, and household matters.
Anyone who’s done project management may recognize this as a variation of the Scrum approach to software development, with elements of David Allen’s “Getting Things Done.”
Here are my three steps to taming the to-dos of widowhood.
Top 5 Episodes of the Widowed Parent Podcast in 2023
As 2023 comes to a close, I’m remembering this time seven years ago when I had a headache straight through the holiday period — starting at Thanksgiving and ending the day after January 8, the one-year anniversary of my husband Dennis’s death from brain cancer.
If you’re somewhere in that first year, please know this: it does get better.
And: You’re not alone.
I started the Widowed Parent Podcast back in 2018 to guide the journey of solo parenting after loss.
The first several years featured so many amazing guests. And now, I’m thrilled to share the Top 5 Most-Listened-To episodes of 2023.
How the Evolution of Kids Grief Impacts Us As Parents
Parenting is hard.
Widowed solo parenting to grieving kids? Impossible!
Most of us signed up to co-parent with our partner and had dreams of what our family would look like. When our partner died, our ideas of what this looked like died as well. We became the “everything” parent, with every responsibility landing on our shoulders.
Whether you have one child or multiple, each child’s grief experience will be unique. Each will grieve on their own schedule, but somehow, they all seem to do this at bedtime when our energy and patience are at a low!